Go Tell the Bees...

Honoring our connection to nature by facing what we've lost

There’s an old folk belief that was somewhat common in the Appalachian mountains of the past. It was a tradition for those who kept bees, that after a death in the family someone would run outside to “tell the bees”, and even drape the hives in black cloth for a period of time. It was believed that the bees were part of the family, and that they also needed time to grieve. If this wasn’t followed, the bees might abandon the hives, never to return. The understanding at the time was that humans and bees were connected. The honey didn’t just appear, it was given by the bees to the human beekeeper who knew how to respectfully work with them, treating them as part of their circle of community. As such, the bees would need to be included in the grieving process, they would need time to understand what happened and honor the person who died.

Bees were also seen as intermediaries between the physical and the spiritual realms. A connection to where we came from, where we are, and where we will be. They could bring messages, warnings, and advice for us, if we listen.

The symbiotic relationship between the pollen producing flower and the pollen collecting bee, between the bee and its environment, is beautiful and circular. There is much that bees can tell us… about the health of the natural world, the spirit world beyond, and ourselves.

All of this was on my mind recently, as I felt new waves of grief at the losses that just keep piling up. Updated statistics on global warming, threats of industrial development here in my own local township, and the yearly visit from the crop dusting plane- flying so close to my old farmhouse that my nerves, along with the windows rumbled. The hot, humid, high summer of 2025 feels like a pot on the stove about to boil over.

But, instead of falling into despair, I think of the bees. I wish I had hives of my own, as my Grandad and Great-Grandad had, so I could ask them to grieve with me. There’s something comforting in traditions and rituals that involve humbling ourselves to the more than human world. Seeing the bees as family, sharing our joys and sadness with them is only part of the process, it also involves listening to them and heeding their warnings about what we humans are doing to this sacred earth.

We need to seek the counsel of bees, court their favor, ask their forgiveness, and then grieve with them for what is lost.